Right now, I am 2-1/2 hours from home by air (considerably more than that if I hop into a car and try to drive). Lately I have been so busy, that I am not quite sure which way is up. I work a lot and come home mentally and physically exhausted. Then, of course, there are the things I need to get done, the things I want to get done, and that's all before the "Honey-Do's"! I have home repairs, home renovations, yard work, you-name-it! There just aren't enough hours in the day to do it all. My job is stressful. Not so much that I can't handle it, but just more than I ever thought it would be. I mean, I have taken on a lot more than most guys my age (especially the ones I know) have ever even dreamed of!
So, I try to prioritize. 5:00 am, get up, shower, dress, quick peck on my sleeping wife's cheek and it's off to work! Stay there all day and do my best to make sure that the 40-some families whose livelihoods depend upon our success maintain that hope for another day. Then, I come home late in the evening and just want to sit down, close my eyes, and be left completely and utterly...alone. Grudgingly, I take care of a few things, but mostly my "to-do" list continuously gets longer and longer.
So, where does it end? How do I ever catch up? I don't think I will ever know.
Today is Friday, and a friend of ours has just died. I will fly home tonight and go to his funeral tomorrow. He was a good man. One that took care of his wife and family in a truly loving way. Now, I guess he was in his late 50's or early 60's...still too young to leave. That has made me realize that no matter how much time we are given, it is never enough. Now, I know I have to work so my family will be fed and clothed, but I need to find a way to give them more time. I realize that no matter how tired I am, my son still wants his father to read him a bedtime story. As trivial as it seems to me, it means the WORLD to him as he puts his little hand on my face and says "Thanks, Dad. I love you." Then, with tear-stained eyes, I crawl in bed next to my wife who looks at me, smiles and says "I love you, too".
Does anything else really matter?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Choices (Originally written October 5, 2006)
I have wondered for a long time now, why it is we make the decisions we make? Sometimes, we make really intelligent choices by taking all variables into account, and weighing all options and possible outcomes before going down that path. Other times...not so much. But have you ever noticed that it seemingly takes about a million GOOD decisions to even come close to erasing ONE bad one?
Even when we have the best of intentions, we can mess up. Even when the best thing to ever occur in our lives is staring us in the face, we often choose to ingnore it and walk away. And why? Why do we walk away? Ignorance? Lack of common sense? Fear?
There have been things in my life that I have wholefully embraced and I know that I made the right choices. On the other hand, there were other things that I chose to do that I know now, after many years of reflection, were most definitely the wrong things to do. Sadly, I can never go back and "fix" it, neither can I ever make it right. All I can do is to try and make sure I always weigh those variables before I do anything.One area I was really lacking in was listening to God. He has told me all along what is best, but I seemed to play the part of a child with fingers in ears saying "La la la la...La la la la" and ignored Him. So, I approach tomorrow with a new attitude. Saddle up...grab the bull by the horns...open the gate...and hold on until God says it's time to let go. I am truly sorry for walking away when I should have been running towards. But you know, if you begin to listen to God's "still small voice", that walking away may actually lead you in a circle. When the circle completes itself, go forward. It's the 2nd best choice you can make.
Even when we have the best of intentions, we can mess up. Even when the best thing to ever occur in our lives is staring us in the face, we often choose to ingnore it and walk away. And why? Why do we walk away? Ignorance? Lack of common sense? Fear?
There have been things in my life that I have wholefully embraced and I know that I made the right choices. On the other hand, there were other things that I chose to do that I know now, after many years of reflection, were most definitely the wrong things to do. Sadly, I can never go back and "fix" it, neither can I ever make it right. All I can do is to try and make sure I always weigh those variables before I do anything.One area I was really lacking in was listening to God. He has told me all along what is best, but I seemed to play the part of a child with fingers in ears saying "La la la la...La la la la" and ignored Him. So, I approach tomorrow with a new attitude. Saddle up...grab the bull by the horns...open the gate...and hold on until God says it's time to let go. I am truly sorry for walking away when I should have been running towards. But you know, if you begin to listen to God's "still small voice", that walking away may actually lead you in a circle. When the circle completes itself, go forward. It's the 2nd best choice you can make.
Contentment (Originally written July 11, 2006)
Why are we never content? We seem to always be in search of the bigger and better, the could-have's, the dangling carrot. Why are humans determined to refuse a state of contentment, no matter the cost? We spend so much time looking ahead to that "carrot" that we don't take the time to realize what we have right in front of us. God only knows why.
Oddly, however, while we are watching that "carrot", we seem to be looking over our shoulders. What might have been? What could I have had? What if I had done this?
Do you think maybe our lives could be lived more abundantly, more fully, if we just stop for a moment and reflect on the blessings that God has placed in our lives? Can we, for just a moment, actually be...content? Or is that a concept long forgotten in our "Keeping up with the Jones's" humanity? Take a step back and look at the Jones's; are they any happier than the rest of us? If the Jones's were, in fact, content, why would we have to "keep up"? We would all eventually catch up to them. But wait, if we caught the Jones's, would we then be content? Or would we still embark on the unending journey to find that bigger, better carrot? Only to find, at the end of our days, that even at death, we still have not found that state of true contentment.
Oddly, however, while we are watching that "carrot", we seem to be looking over our shoulders. What might have been? What could I have had? What if I had done this?
Do you think maybe our lives could be lived more abundantly, more fully, if we just stop for a moment and reflect on the blessings that God has placed in our lives? Can we, for just a moment, actually be...content? Or is that a concept long forgotten in our "Keeping up with the Jones's" humanity? Take a step back and look at the Jones's; are they any happier than the rest of us? If the Jones's were, in fact, content, why would we have to "keep up"? We would all eventually catch up to them. But wait, if we caught the Jones's, would we then be content? Or would we still embark on the unending journey to find that bigger, better carrot? Only to find, at the end of our days, that even at death, we still have not found that state of true contentment.
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